Insanity is a Woman Worth Falling For
by SangoShadowphoenix
Summary: Alt Feudal Universe. He was her Lord. She was his maid. He was logical and intelligent. She was random and insane. His attraction to her was undeniable. So it was also undeniable that he'd go insane, too. S/K. Ch4: His drugged maid confesses all!...?
1. Ch1: Attraction Distraction

Series: "Insanity is a Woman Worth Falling For"

Ch. Title: Attraction Distraction.  
Prompt: Ebony_silks, Week 101: Omen – drabble [orig. posted Jan.15.2010]  
Disclaimer: _InuYasha_ and its characters belong to Takahashi-sensei.

Rated: 'E' for Everybody  
Word Count: 500.  
Genre: Humor.  
Universe: Alternate Feudal Universe.

**Chapter Summary1:** His damnation: sealed with a kiss.

**Chapter Summary2:** Sesshoumaru desperately wants a new maid. Or to disappear with a cup of tea. That would be nice, too.

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*~ Ch 1: Attraction Distraction ~*

He knew she was bad news the moment he laid eyes on his new maid.

It didn't matter if she had a pretty face, or an interesting personality. Kagome was clumsy, dropping herself everywhere and always getting in his way.

"What're you doing?" she asked curiously, kneeling next to him at the table and peering at the missive, the top of her head almost brushing his nose.

"Something not of your business or interest," he replied snippily, turning his head, pretending to eye the impressive pile of reports awaiting him.

"That's nice," she replied without missing a beat. "It's so boring being your maid. All I get to do is pour you tea, keep silent when company comes, listen to your moodiness. You do everything else yourself or someone else does it for me. It's so _boring_," she repeated.

He reached out to riffle the pile a bit, wishing she'd move back already. "Your sole responsibility is to ensure I've what I require; cleaning and other duties fall to others."

"'What you require'…" she pondered, finally sitting back on her heels again and letting him breath properly. "Tea, tea, and someone to talk to?"

"Tea, peace, and quiet," he corrected.

"What?" she asked, turning to look at him. "Did you say something?"

"Tea, please," he said, sighing mentally.

"Ah, yes. I thought that might be it," she grinned, putting one hand to the floor to push herself up.

And being the clumsy girl that she was, managed to step on the hem of her own kimono, and to drop herself into his lap.

She tasted like the red bean filling of her dessert, with a touch of fragrant almond.

"Ah, ah, forgive me, my Lord," the page suddenly at the door stuttered, hurriedly sliding the study door closed again, as Sesshoumaru tore himself away from Kagome and opened his mouth to explain their rather compromising scene, feeling the blood clawing up his neck, into his cheeks.

_This troublesome girl! She trips all over the place! Who the hell is in charge of assignments? How could he send such a clumsy girl for my maid? Remove her at once!_

But the snap of the closed door was also the lid on his opportunity to explain. He could hear the gossip beginning to buzz already.

Defeated, he looked at his maid. She stared back at him with a light blush dusting her cheeks, eyes wide. She licked her lips (and he wanted to kiss her all over again), then swallowed.

"Um, you wanted tea?"

He sighed, audibly this time. "No, peace and quiet. Can you get me that?"

"Lord Sesshoumaru's precious cup of tea, coming right up," she said, scurrying out of his lap, ignoring him in favor of making her get-away.

He sighed again. _What a selfish girl_, he thought, laying his head on the table in hopes the cool wood would help to cool his head. _Running away by yourself - why didn't you think to take me with you?_

_

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_

A/N: So…. It later occurred that some dokuga_contests's prompts fit this little lord-and-his-maid storyline to a tee. So I ended up making this a serial (I've two of the next chapters done, on dokuga_contest, which I shall post to ffnet soon enough).  
I don't quite have a plot for it yet, but I'm going to, because I don't want to torture myself (and if I am lucky, loyal readers of this series, too) with a Sesshoumaru/Kagome comedic romance where they just won't get together, even though it's been a gazillion chapters past. I'd either drive myself nuts with the suspense of it all, or I'd end up making Sesshoumaru pull a Juliet _just_ so that Kagome and him could get together already. XP So yea, plot to come.


	2. Ch2: Virtues of a Leader

Series: "Insanity is a Woman Worth Falling For"

Ch. Title: Virtues of a Leader.  
Prompt: Dokuga_Contest, Weekly Perfection 85: flat (exactly 100 words) [orig. posted 4.30.2010]  
Disclaimer: _InuYasha_ and its characters belong to Takahashi-sensei.

Rated: 'E' for Everybody  
Word Count: 100 on the dot.  
Genre: Humor.  
Universe: Alternate Feudal Universe.

**Chapter Summary1:** Her bosom? Well, she might not welcome him after all…

**Original/Chapter Summary2:** Another day. Another reason Sesshoumaru wants a new maid. Or for his Lord father to send him on a patrol, far, far away from her and the castle. That would be nice, too.

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*~ Ch 2: Virtues of a Leader ~*

How had he been roped into such a conversation?

Kagome, his ever-cumbersome, infinitely insane maid, was talking about _breasts_.

Worse, _her _breasts.

"…then the old bag called me- called me _flat!_" Kagome took an angry gulp of tea, then turned to him.

He braced himself, having somewhat collected himself in anticipation of having to comment.

_Unmovable, almighty; I shall respond, calm yet witty._

"Sesshoumaru-sama, everyone knows that old bag's insane, but she's also _mean_, don't you agree?"

And with a straight face, Sesshoumaru smoothly and immediately responded: "Rest assured, your breasts are quite obvious and very well received."

… _Dammit! _

_

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_A/N: Hope you enjoyed it! This drabble won first place on Dokuga_Contest; I'm very thankful for all the support, and that people liked it so much. Please look forward to the next installments~_  
_


	3. Ch3: The Authority Over People

Series: "Insanity is a Woman Worth Falling For

Ch.Title: The Authority Over People  
Prompt: Dokuga_Contest, Weekly Perfection 88: lace (exactly 200 words) [orig. posted 5.19.2010]  
Disclaimer: _InuYasha_ and its characters belong to Takahashi-sensei.

Rated 'E' for Everyone  
Genre: Humor  
Universe: Alternate Feudal Universe.  
Word count: 200 on the dot.

**Chapter Summary 1: **Being a Lord must count for _some_thing!

**Orig./Ch. Summary 2:** Still saddled with his maid. If only Sesshoumaru could use his lordly authority to reassign his own maid. Or if he could use his lordly authority to forbid her from becoming more crazy. That would be nice, too.

A/N: This drabble dabbled in the 3rd place spotlight for its week. A big THANK YOU to all voters~!

Please enjoy~

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*~ Ch 3: The Authority Over People ~*

Lately, his maid had been giving her attention to the new stable master.

The man was a boor with a disgraceful habit of spitting at everything - when he was or wasn't angry; as praise or insult; to spite; as bashfulness.

There was no reason for Sesshoumaru's maid to be socializing with such an ogre. So he made a mental note to himself that the man be reassigned to a border post.

Satisfied with his solution, Sesshoumaru downed his tea, only to quirk his brow when Kagome paled and grimaced, looking away.

"I'm so sorry!" she squeaked. "You took the cup before I could serve it to that annoying lord person who just left! And then you drank it before I could take it away from you!"

Sesshoumaru glanced into the teacup, but sensed nothing dangerous.

"Did you plan to poison him?" That minor lord was so dislikable, Sesshoumaru would have rewarded her if Sesshoumaru hadn't drank it himself.

When she shook her head, he asked, "What did you lace it with?"

"I…" Her cheeks turned deep red. Weakly, Kagome continued, "I spat…" but she couldn't bring herself to finish, looking away again.

Immediately. The stable master was fired, _immediately._


	4. Ch4: The Frog Prince

Series: "Insanity is a Woman Worth Falling For

Ch.Title: The Frog Prince  
Prompt: Dokuga_Contest, Weekly Perfection 94: towel (exactly 200 words) [orig. posted 7.03.2010]  
Disclaimer: _InuYasha_ and its characters belong to Takahashi-sensei.

Rated 'E' for Everyone  
Genre: Humor  
Universe: Alternate Feudal Universe.  
Word count: 200 on the dot.

**Chapter Summary:**Drugged with painkillers, Sesshoumaru's maid confesses all. Well, perhaps not _all_, but enough for Sesshoumaru to know that _"a new maid is in order"_ should have long been moved to the top of his to-do list.

Please enjoy~

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*~ Ch 4: The Frog Prince ~*

He lifted her torso closer, averting his gaze from the exposed valley of her breasts and the delicate slope of her neck.

"I'm sorry, my Lord" Kagome said, oblivious.

"Don't be," Sesshoumaru replied absently, frowning as the gentle swiping of the wet towel caused her wound to reopen a bit and ooze slowly.

She began to cry softly. "I'm sorry for breaking your favourite teacup," she whispered.

"I have no favorites," he said, dabbing at the gouges.

"I'm sorry I keep spilling ink in your hair," she continued with a hiccup.

He paused, then returned to his task. "I am growing accustomed to your clumsiness."

Giving a particularly pitiful wail, Kagome said, "I'm so sorry, my Lord!"

"I have said it is nothing of consequence."

Kagome clasped her arms about his head and sobbed, his hair soaking with her drugged tears. "I'm sorry, my Lord! I keep thinking about that kiss," Kagome confessed woefully.

He didn't dare speak this time. If he did, he might kiss her breast.

But he closed his eyes and tilted his head to hear her heart a little better, his form relaxing.

"It's just, it really felt like I was kissing a frog or something!"

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AN: Sigh. I really should check my notification emails more. THANK YOU to all readers, reviewers, alert-adders! Your continued surveillance(?) of this story prompted my lazy ass to finally make the ffnet version and then actually post. More will be coming soon~ As well as other stories and other one-shots. ^_^


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